Welcome to the gates of literary hell

I was recently flipping through the new issue of Maxim (they have good articles, sue me) and I happened across an article that detailed how much the rest of the country despises the overexposure of Boston sports.  If it wouldn't have been weird for me to drop the magazine and start clapping in the store I would have applauded the mere fact that that article existed.  Now I have been accused of being a miserable prick in the past and actually today as well but I feel as if all my complaints about Boston and its sports teams are now validated.  Yes its amazing that the Red Sox have won two World Series in 4 years.  Equally amazing is the fact that the Patriots have become one of the more dominant franchises in football history.  In an equally rare display the Celtics are legit championship contenders this year.  All of that is well and good but I am goddamn sick and tired of hearing about it.  I happen to live outside of Boston (which is my fault) and that places me right at ground zero (not literally New York, relax its too soon).  Sports talk radio is filled with Red Sox talk and Celtics talk.  Depressingly some people are still calling up and dissecting the Super Bowl loss to the Giants.  THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!  The Super Bowl was played on February 3rd of this year for those who don't know.  It is now March 21st.  Get the hell over it.  They lost.  Yes the Giants made some incredible dumb luck plays and no one hates Eli Manning more than me but they lost.  The defense let them down.  Almost ironically the worst part about Boston is actually diverting attention away from that sobering and to be perfectly honest, humiliating loss.  Yeah the Red Sox will soon be starting their championship defense.  Yes everyone here loves them.  I love how foolishly optimistic everyone is this time of year.  Varitek isn't old, hes just a seasoned veteran.  Yeah well wait until he is hitting .215 in June.  The calls will be flooding the radio stations in Boston.  "Get rid of him, hes too fucking old".  Everyone is verbally humping Jacoby Ellsbury but wait until he doesn't hit .400 like he did in the World Series.  "He can't handle the pressure of playing in this city. Send him back down".  No city is quicker to hit the panic button than Boston.  Yep the Celtics are rolling but where were all these "fans" last year.  TD Banknorth Garden couldn't sell out last year if they gave half the seats away for free.  Now its constantly selling out for Celtic games.  That leads me to another point.  Boston is home to so many bandwagon fans I can't believe it.  You could poll 100 Celtics fans and I can guarantee you that 80% wouldn't have a clue about how well or poorly the Celtics were playing as recently as 5 years ago.  Same goes for Sox fans who might be the biggest bunch of bandwagon fans in the country.  Thats right.  Not New England, the entire country.  I would love to quiz these "fans" on their love of the team and just how long they have been following them.  Pick me out a girl wearing a pink, yellow or camouflage hat, ask them anything about the Sox prior to 2003 and watch the heads explode.  There is nothing wrong with appreciating when your home team is winning but these idiots who make it a point to work the Sox into every conversation are ridiculous.  No, I don't want to hear what you think about Curt Schilling.  I don't want to know how much you appreciate Tim Wakefield for being such a crafty veteran.  Me: "Isn't it amazing that Curt Schilling now has three World Series rings?" Them: "But the Sox have only won two"  Me: "Yes but he was on the Diamondbacks before the Sox and they won the World Series against the Yankees in 2001"  Them: "What?!?!?"  (head explodes).  Watch what happens if they Sox start out slow or the Celtics don't advance to the championship series.  I won't even turn on sports talk radio.  I'll just jab a pen into my eardrum and save myself the trouble.